Jason I dont know how I will go on without you. You were my world. You had such a kind heart and would have given anyone your last penny. You were such a handsome man. You could have been anything that you wanted to be if, you had set your mind to. You just needed encouragement. I feel so sad that I didnt get to spend time with you like I wanted. I stayed sick so much that it was hard for me to give you the time you needed. You deserved to have a good life but, your drug addiction stole you from us. I love you so very much and miss you dearly. I was so proud to be your mother. This just has to be a bad nightmare and I will wake up to find you still here with me. I am still looking out on the gazebo for you. I look for you to show up any minute on the doorbell camera. I look in your room for you. I have a lot of regret son of not taking you to church whenever you begged me. I was constantly trying to be the referee to keep peace between you and Matt. That was so ridiculous. Thats the past but, it still was so unnessary. Well baby I am in the hospital so I need to get some rest. I love you baby. You will always be my baby.